I'm absolutely aware that there is nothing like the perfect touring bike as the definition of such a beast is different for any single rider. Having different height, weight, arm and leg length, everything depends on the perfect fit. But - couldn't we dream of a bike that is a bit more customizable? Something every Honda Civic, Smart Car, even the cheapest cars in the world have? There you move the seat forward and back, you can move the steering wheel up and down, mostly you can adjust the seat height and so on.
So, let me define a bike I'd personally love to see with some basics:
Engine
In my opinion it is completely ridiculous how powerful bikes have become. Nobody in their right mind wants to control a street bike with more than 100HP in normal traffic / road conditions. Yes, I'm aware that there are lunatics out there who "need" the most powerful thing, who long for the kick, but I seriously hope that is not a majority but just a bunch of people with too short ... ah, whatever.
So, back to engine and power, something above 50 and below 100HP would be reasonable for me. My F800GS with 85HP has more than enough grunt for myself, my wife, and luggage, so let's take that number, it's not that you really feel the difference in normal touring. It is comfortable accelerating, but needs a certain rpm range to react. It also starts vibrating pretty badly from 5k rpm and up, but okay, that's a range I rarely use. Where does that leave us now? Let's just define, what I like to see:
I very much prefer V-Twins over inline twins as all of the ones I rode before vibrated less than comparable inline twins. But if somebody figures out an inline twin that is just as smooth: bring it on. I always liked V twins for their torquey feeling and they can be made really smooth, e.g. the one that is in the Honda TransAlp or NT700V is a nice engine!
But the much better option in my opinion would be something like the Triumph inline triple with 675cc de-tuned to around 80 to 90HP and maximum torque and smoothness. This little engine is a dream and fits right in. It is much smoother than any two cylinder, has a better power / torque delivery and is still reasonably small and light weight.
My selection: 675cc Triumph Triple
Final Drive
Call me lazy, but on a road touring bike a chain is just plain a disaster. You have to carry maintenance tools, check it every day, grease it properly, it gets itself, the wheels, the heals, and other parts dirty. It's just plain a freaking nightmare when I want to do really relaxed touring.
Therefore, anything else but a chain. Means, either a shaft drive (but a reliable one, please; yes, I'm looking at you BMW) like the Honda NT700V has or the old NTV had or a belt drive. I think the BMW shaft is pretty heavy, also not really known to be the most reliable. The other alternative is a belt, which I'm absolutely perfectly fine with. It's a good, long lasting, lightweight alternative that just plain works and gets out of your mind, unlike a chain which might belong in off-road or performance bikes, but definitely not into a tourer.
My selection: Belt. It's cheaper and lighter than a shaft and failures are easy to repair and don't cost an arm and a leg
Transmission
Seems obvious, but I still like to include it here. It needs to shift effortless (if you still can't get this right after decades of building motorcycles, do something else, build tractors ...), must have six gears, the sixth being long enough for highway riding around 70mph with good fuel efficiency - I'm perfectly able to shift down if I really need the power to do a high acceleration pass. Oh, and yes, give me a gear indicator in the cockpit!
My selection: 6 speed, smooth transmission, something like the transmission from the F800GS with a shorter first gear and a longer sixth.
Frame / Form
The frame must be rugged enough to support two-up touring with luggage and still light enough to not make the bike all too heavy. Something like the KTM chromium-molybdenum frame. I'm not a friend of aluminum frames all too much as it seems to be quite hard to make them stable enough without making them crazy expensive and / or with huge diameters that look incredibly ugly (Buell Ulysses someone?). So, for the lack of better options at the moment, let's pick the KTM 990 SM-T frame, make it wide enough for the small Triumph Triple, a six gear box attaching to a belt final drive.
The form factor is also pretty important. Seating position should be upright and comfortable, I think the typical dual sport or the KTM 990 SM-T show how it should be. Comfortable but still in control of everything - unlike some cruisers and most choppers that you plan cannot have fun on just because it always feels like you're sitting on a gynecologist's chair trying frantically to hold the arms high enough to reach the handle bars. So, dual sport seating position. But not really dual sport handle bars. They are mostly a tad too wide for a normal touring bike which makes you hang in the wind like a sail. A tiny little bit narrower. Triumph Tiger like. Hmmm. Did I say Tiger? Yup. Let's just pick the Tiger seating position. But, for god's sake, don't make that ass going up so much. That looks unsettling, is completely stupid for weight distribution with a passenger and luggage on a rack and disconnects rider and passenger way too much. That brings us back to the KTM 990 SM-T. I haven't been on one, but from the looks, it seems about right. If anything, this might still go high, but I think that is just optical because of that stupid exhaust pipe being where it shouldn't be.
Now, what fits me, doesn't necessarily fit any other person. Therefore, we need to make that "tweakable":
Now, part of the frame layout is where we put the exhaust. There are two options and I prefer one of them, but let's talk about them first and why I think there are only two options. To be a good tourer, the bike has to have cases that accommodate luggage for two persons while still providing a narrow profile to be able to split lanes where possible and legal. That leaves two options to place the exhaust: low, under the cases, or high and center, under the seat. I prefer not to cook my passengers behind, so a low exhaust is better. Also, as said, this bike is not for off road, no high exhaust needed. I also have enough "man power" to not need the loudest and meanest looking, practical is good here.
As mentioned above, the rear needs to be narrow to support cases with equal size on both sides that have enough useful volume. Those "cliff cut" BMW Varios might seem like a good idea, but try to pack them! They are just plain stupid. Also a case needs to survive a tip-over which those rarely do. So, again, where does that leave us? Let me pick the best from above:
From what I have seen so far, there is nothing like that readily available, which I don't understand, but it's never too late to build the right thing. Manufactures! Get started! The KTM 990 SM-T frame and layout comes close but those stupid exhaust pipes and panniers must be a freaking joke. The guy who came up with those should be shot, then shot again.
And if you are too short to handle a bike like this - get a different one and stop whining. That's my dream bike here.
Fairing / Wind and Weather Protection
This is one of the most important part motorcycle manufacturers just can't get right. A windshield needs to be adjustable. Riders are different, helmets are different. And those stupid idiots still sell cheap plastic thingies barely good enough to kill the bugs flying at it. It's a complete disaster. Come on guys, you studied, you can't be such dumbasses as it always seems when looking at the results. Shoot the designer and accountant if necessary and build something that actually works even on a smaller bike than an R1200RT. And I'm not talking about full body protection. I'm only talking about quiet air around (or better, above) my helmet. Arms and shoulders can get wind, no worries. Hands should be protected against the wind, but really not by redirecting the wind against the riders head - as it is done by the stupid R1200GS hand protectors.
Also, fairing parts need to be cheaper. As said over and over again, bikes tip over. Plastic breaks. It plain can't be that a piece of plastic that costs $5 to make is sold for $250. It really can't be that hard to plan for this. Even with a designer peeing himself because he doesn't like the implications. Kick him to make his job, not to come back with "either good looking or practical" - there are always ways of getting it right. It can't be that only Apple has designers that can find a way of doing the necessary to fit the practical.
To give some perspective, I've ridden all kinds of bikes and most of them were just godawful with the original fairing / windshield. They were only build for looks not for use. Right now, I have the F800GS with an Aeroflow windshield. This works very well. The windshield doesn't have to be that high all the time, but it needs an adjustment range of at least 10cm (4 inches) and a laminar flow system. That can fit most riders in most situations. The shield should be attached by a stable mounting system that can tilt the shield and move it up and down (like the Madstad Robo Brackets - why does it always need a guy in a garage to build something like this when corporations with billions of dollars design those bikes?) and is stable enough to support large screens as well as the normal ones. Windflow from the side to the riders helmet needs to be eliminated. Really! Don't look at me like I'm crazy but that is where most of the buffeting comes from as soon as the windshield has the right form / height. A fairing should act as such and not as a designer dress on a bone slender top model ...
Wheels and Tires
Again, I'm lazy and I won't go off-road with this bike. So I want street tires that stick like glue. That make the bike fast and nimble. So, 17" front and rear seems to be pretty well working. Don't make them too wide or it gets hard to lean the bike over. This is another place where the less equipped should just shove a pair of socks in their pants and get over it, instead of compensating with overly wide tires that impede the bikes handling. Also I want tubeless, easier to fix when on the road. Rims should be tough. Really tough. And true.
Weight
It should not be heavy. Not a big touring monster. Even smaller persons should be able to pick the bike up after a tip-over. It doesn't have to be the lightest bike around, just not unnecessarily heavy. Say around 200kg to 220kg maximum curb weight, ready to drive - preferably with pannier mounts. And yes, intelligent, integrated pannier mounts can be lightweight and good looking. Even after market companies can get it, e.g. Micatech with their system for the R1200GS. You barely see it when the cases are off. The BMW mounting systems are normally quite nice, too, only the Adventure Pannier system is a huge, heavy, ugly metal cage.
There are also other components which add weight: ABS (needed), ASC (maybe needed - but derived from ABS, therefore not too bad in weight), electronic suspension adjustment (not needed), crash bars (see in frame section), final drive, fairing and so on.
My dream would be to get a bike with less than 220kg that includes:
Looks / Optics
Get off me with those crazy color schemes which only a stoned color blind tasteless person can come up with. Get off me with weird color names. Give me white, red, black, and some honest colors in between. And not one single color for a single year. Honda, you can go to hell with that concept in the US, I'll not buy a bike from you just because I'm so pissed with your marketing politics (and because most of your bikes are butt ugly and way too heavy, but that's another matter).
Selection: to be honest, I don't care all too much whether it looks like the R1200GS, the F800GS, the Ducati Multistrada (1200, I'm not blind enough to like the 1100 ...), or the new Super Ténéré. They all look good enough if you get the colors right (and why oh why can only European companies get those right? Nippon, get a European designer and be done with it.)
Now, coming back to reality, what do we have in today's world (really small selection):
What else is out there? A lot. But no real light weight tourer that's worth a penny. There are some good heavier bikes, but the light weight and not so expensive group is plain a joke. Not one single bike out there that fits the bill.
Don't get me wrong, I love the F800GS - but it's just not the "dream bike" for me. This bike with a smoother engine, better wheels, some little things corrected could be great. We'll see the future brings us, but I doubt that any motorcycle manufacturer has the guts to bring a bike that actually works as expected and is as down to earth as a Volkswagen Golf. In my opinion one of the best cars in the world.